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By: Lanora

What does it mean to honor our Father and Mother so that our days may be long? In Exodus 20:12 the scripture says “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you. The same scripture but worded a little different can be found in Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

The word Honor in the Strong’s concordance is pronounced OT:3513 kabad (kaw-bad’); or kabed (kaw-bade’); a primitive root; to be heavy, i.e. in a bad sense (burdensome, severe, dull) or in a good sense (numerous, rich, honorable; causatively, to make weighty (in the same two senses): And in the KJV – abounding with, more grievously afflict, boast, be chargeable, X be dim, glorify, be (make) glorious (things), glory, (very) great, be grievous, harden, be (make) heavy, be heavier, lay heavily, (bring to, come to, do, get, be had in) honor (self), (be) honorable (man), lade, X more be laid, make self many, nobles, prevail, promote (to honor), be rich, be (go) sore, stop.

So if I understand what honor means it is to not be a burden or grievous to our parent but to be honorable to them. I’ve heard many people say that to respect or honor a person they have to earn the respect from the person giving it. Oh really, I completely disagree with that statement! You can respect a person in a position of authority but it doesn’t mean you have to like what they do. It’s kind of on the same lines of love the sinner but hate the sin.

When I think back of how I tried to honor my parents I wanted to obey them and please them just as I do today with my heavenly Father. I didn’t want to disappoint or dishonor them.

But what does it mean to dishonor? Strong’s Concordance pronounces the word dishonor as OT:3639 kelimmah (kel-im-maw’); from OT:3637; disgrace:

KJV states it as – confusion, dishonor, reproach, shame.

I can remember a time when I did hurt, disappoint and possibly dishonor my Mother. It was during the time when I was a young teenager and at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. At least I thought so. I had saved my babysitting earnings throughout high school so I could purchase a beautiful wooden jewelry box and instead of giving it to the one person that had loved and cared for me I was caught up in trying to impress a friend’s sister and gave it to her for her senior graduation.

I can remember my Mother saying “Are you sure because you worked so hard to save your money?”

I wasn’t getting what my Mother was trying to teach me at the time. I didn’t even own a jewelry box of my own much less have any jewelry to put in it. Looking back over the years it finally dawned on me what I had done and soon after that I purchased another beautiful jewelry box and surprised my Mother with it. I’m a slow learner sometimes. I apologized for the hurt and disappointment I must have caused her at the time. My Mother and I hugged and cried together and I learned a very valuable lesson in honoring my parent. I told her that I never meant to hurt her. As I grew older and more mature I figured out that I did disappoint her at that time when I began reflecting back on my life.

My point being is sometimes we hurt, disappoint and even dishonor the people we love without meaning to. It is up to us to change the outcome of the disappointment no matter how long ago it may have been. What counts is when we do the honorable thing and set things right then we can restore the honor to those who so graciously deserve it.

Before my Mother passed away she gave the jewelry box back to me and today it is a daily reminder of how at one time I didn’t honor my Mother. It brings back those memories of how I tried so hard to redeem myself back in my Mother’s eyes even though she never mentioned a word about it to me and pretended as if nothing had happened. But I knew. From the moment when I gave her the Jewelry box I knew that I never wanted to hurt or disappoint her again.

I wonder if this is how our Father in heaven looks at us when we fail as His children. Knowing we have done or said things that have disappointed Him.

Isn’t our ultimate goal to be eternal children of God? Don’t we want to obey, honor, respect and please our parents, our Lord and Savior and our Heavenly Father. So when we do honor our Father and Mother through God’s Holy Word we are keeping the first commandment with promise from God in Ephesians 6:2. When we do our part then our Father in Heaven will therefore honor His own commandment with promise in Ephesians 6:3, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. Of course it has to be God’s will and fit into His perfect plan for us.

Today when I look back I think about, if only I had more time with my Mother to let her know how much her life lessons have taught me and how much I loved and respected both of my parents. Yes, if only!

If you have done something or said something to your parent, spouse, or loved one no matter how minor it may be take time and let them know you are sorry for any hurt whether it is real or imagined and tell them how much you love, honor and respect them. It may not be too late for you!